Everyone knows about the big parts of a wedding- like having to feed your guests, hiring the right vendors, and who you want in the bridal party... but the little details get overlooked and they make a HUGE world of a difference- Not just in your wedding planning experience, but on your actual Wedding Day too.
There are so many little details to know, I could probably be here for days writing about it all, but I'm going to give you the top 10 I think that are super important and crucial to know.
1. Communicate with your M.O.H on what you expect from them.
Your maid of honor is your right hand girl throughout the entire planning process and on the big day. If she has never been a maid of honor before then she most likely has no idea that it's her job to appoint bridesmaids tasks, or to help plan the Bridal Shower and take charge of the Bachelorette Party. She doesn't know. She's just as lost as you. Then you get into wedding planning and see what everyone else's Maid of Honors are doing for them and you get disappointed that yours didn't know any better. YOU are responsible to delegate tasks, jobs, and expectations to the biggest people in this process and that includes M.O.H, Mother of the Bride + Groom, and Best Man. Then these people can be in charge of taking those tasks and getting help from the rest of the bridal party and family members.
Some things to communicate to your M.O.H:
- Their tasks (plan Bachelorette, help with Bridal Shower, Be there for everything Wedding-related, help you find vendors if needing help, keep stress off of you with bridesmaid drama, etc.)
- They are responsible for making sure everyone is sober walking down the aisle
- What you like/don't like when it comes to Bachelorette Weekend (some of you like strippers and penis balloons...others just want to have fun on the beach and have spa nights.) They should know the type of girl you are, but if they don't...tell them. If they aren't communicated with on this then you might have a not-so-fun bachelorette weekend of feeling uncomfortable and like your feelings went uncared for.
- They will be the point of person for any questions
2. Make your real details special- for you and your family.
"What details do you mean?" Honestly, any little thing you can incorporate to make your parents and his parents feel special- do it. Whether it's including something passed on from generation to generation, or letting them have a say in some decision making, allowing them to help you pick things like invites, jewelry, etc. This ends up being so special because the parents and family members were able to help you plan your big day and be apart in more ways than just the big day itself. Ask your mom if there's anything she'd like to see in the wedding, or for you to wear. Just by including them, it can give you the traditional "something blue, something new, something old, something used" items so you don't have to stress about finding them yourself.
Some details as examples: A grandparents handkerchief, A grandma's necklace, A garter passed down, A special dance for your parents, A toast from you and the groom to the people who are most important in your life, a photo album gift for both sets of parents after the wedding, a special gift that reflects them and your relationship on the day of the wedding, a special dress your mom wanted you to wear (if you love it) for any parties or occasions, and so many more!
3. Delegate someone to be in charge of rounding up family members for Family Photos
You want as MUCH time for you and your wife/husband to have photos taken with your photographer, so those family photos need to go fast and you need an efficient strategy to tackle them once your ceremony is over. Having 30 family members coming in for family photos can be a DISASTER and get on everyone's nerves if
1. your photographer doesn't know how to rally them up
2. if you don't have someone be in charge of having everyone wait in a line and get ready for their photo with you.
As a photographer, I sit down with my couples and ask them who they want photos with in their family and come up with a game plan. We make the list of people, and them put them in an order that is efficient and easy for everyone to step in and step out when needed and in the proper order that they wouldn't have to wait around for 30 minutes until they're needed next. If your wedding package includes a 2nd photographer, the 2nd photographer typically is in charge of having the line in order and telling them when it's their turn. The extra person you delegate for the family photos is the person who runs around grabbing all the members to get them where they need to be in the first place! If all of this is done effectively, your family photos would take only 15 minutes or less and it will be AMAZING. You then have 45 minutes for bridal party photos and couple photos while your guests are in cocktail hour!
4. Have all of your payments ready for vendors + in a safe place.
If you haven't already paid all of your vendors through apps or invoices, make sure you are prepared with checks written out or cash on hand. This includes the remaining of your balances, and gratuity given to vendors and labeled in different envelopes so you know exactly what is going where. Have someone like your Maid of Honor or Mother be in charge of keeping these in a safe place. It's not fun having to take 30 minutes out of your day scavenging around all of your 10 bags you brought to the venue looking for the money for each vendor to be paid. Have it ready and labeled so your appointed person just has to hand it to them. (Take out cash a week before or write a check. Don't make yourself stress as doing this the day before the wedding when you already have so much to already do.)
5. Make each and every guest feel special- WITHOUT spending your entire night talking to all of them.
One little detail that people forget is that these people are coming from all over to celebrate your love. Although the day is about you, you should also do something special to thank them too. (Also would you rather be dancing and having fun all night, or standing around talking to 100+ guests about life updates and boring stuff while the party is on the dance
floor?!) The best way to do this is to have "Thank You Cards" at everyone's seat. It could be a typed up thank you card you find on etsy to make it easy, or you could personally hand write them if you have the time for that and a small amount of guests. Another way to do this is making a toast in the beginning of the night saying how thankful you are they are there and end it with "We're ready to let loose and party with you!"...head to the dance floor and BAM- They will ALL FOLLOW. No need for those boring long talks am I right?!
6. Have a back up plan in case bad weather permits
Common, anything can happen. Be prepared ahead of time, so you're not freaking out a week before!
7. Talk about sunset times!
Your photographer can help you with this, but in order to get the best photos and the dreamy golden hour romantic portraits- look at sunset and golden hour times ahead of time so you're prepared on your day of timeline and Ceremony start time.
8. Print out timelines for every important person!
The boys, the girls, the parents, the vendors, the coodinator, EVERYONE. Print out timelines for everyone so they know where they need to be and when, who to contact for questions, and where you and the groom will be at all times. Take the stress off your back by coming prepared and peaceful throughout your day because everyone else was set up to make the day as smooth and stress-free as possible.
9. Assign people to stay after the Newlywed couple leaves
You are responsible to have the venue agreement fulfilled, even if you aren't there. After you leave the reception in your grand exit, make sure the people in your bridal party or family know to stay behind and clean up. Appoint a couple people to make sure everything is picked up and clean by the end of your venue reservation time, appoint someone to be in charge of packing your personal items, gifts/cards, decor that you brought up and take it back to your house. Appoint someone to take care of your pets at home. Appoint someone to pay the gratuities if they haven't by now. You have a village supporting you and there for your big day. It doesn't just end and they leave when you leave, they have to be there for all the behind the scenes and aftermath too!
... I have SO many more I could tell you...but for my last one, I want it to be really friggin important. The 10th thing that is SO overlooked and forgotten about is...
10. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Wedding planning is hard as heck, and so many nights we lose sleep over it, go crazy over how much it is, and not take care of our mental, emotional and physical health. This day is supposed to be fun and special. If you're ever so far deep into wedding planning that you lose your mind and sanity... take a couple days or week away from it and just breathe. Always prioritize your relationship and yourself before letting this one day of your life drive you nuts. Also, brides especially...PLEASE eat food and drink water the day of the wedding. I know you want to feel skinny and not bloated, but girl you are not gonna make it down that aisle and saying "I do" if you wake up in a hospital after fainting because of being dehydrated or starved. One last thing, Get YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP the night before. You don't want those dark circles on your big day and not have energy to have fun and let loose. This will be one of the best days of your life, if you take care of yourself and prioritize your health!
Okie, thanks for coming to my TED-talk. Haha! Now that you know these little details can make a huge difference in your Wedding, you betta put them into action! HAPPY WEDDING PLANNING! :)